“He would be like ‘send me a picture of you with your uniform and
lift up your skirt’ and I would tell him like ‘hey I feel very bad, and I
feel very alone’ and it was like out of nowhere: ‘why haven’t I seen
you naked?’”
Conversation becomes coercion, and
coercion becomes entrapment.
A common thread across these experiences is the fear that something
personal will be shared without permission. Shame, humiliation and
the threat of consequences for family, relationships, or reputation are
weaponized to silence children and continue the abuse.
A young woman from Brazil describes how previous messages between
her and the perpetrator were used as leverage to get her to comply with
further demands:
“He said ‘Here’s the deal, if you don’t send me a photo, I’ll go after your
parents, I’ll go into your profile, I’ll look for your mother and I’ll send
her screenshots of everything you say to me. Do you want that?’ And
then I said ‘No, don’t do that, for God’s sake. Don’t do that because if
my parents see this, my mother will be much angrier with me, and I’ll
be much worse off.’”
Too often, children tell no one at all.
What may appear as outward silence often masks complex inner turmoil;
it can be shaped by uncertainty, normalization of harm and deep
anxiety over what might happen if they speak up. A young man from
Montenegro, identifying as gay, explains why he chose not to tell anyone
about receiving unwanted sexual content from older men:
“I didn’t share that with anyone. I felt uncomfortable to share it, I was
ashamed to share it. Now I’m not, now I can talk about it. But I think
when you’re 15, and you’re still so insecure, you are ashamed, like, if I
say that, what will people think of me? What will happen?”
Through Children’s Eyes
Introduction
7